


Do Not Use High Beams In Fog.

by Basingstoke



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-10
Updated: 2005-08-10
Packaged: 2017-10-02 17:44:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basingstoke/pseuds/Basingstoke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For shalott, because.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Do Not Use High Beams In Fog.

**Author's Note:**

> For shalott, because.

So, hey. That was a nuclear bomb. Looked like fog from the inside.

And when the shock wave subsided, Rodney stalked up to him, hugged him angrily, then pointed his finger in John's face and said, "We're breaking up."

"Okay," John said, because he'd made a promise to himself never to argue that kind of thing, because there was just no dignity in that.

"I don't date dead men!" Rodney said, waggling his finger further.

John thought wistfully about coordination and typing-borne finger strength and said, "That's a good policy, but I feel I have to point out that I'm breathing."

"Details!" And Rodney stabbed his finger in John's chest, right in a bruise so he winced, and whirled and stalked away with only slightly weaving majesty.

Teyla looked at him. "Breaking up?"

"He doesn't want to have sex with me any more." John rubbed his chest.

"I was not aware you were having sex at all," Teyla said, raising her eyebrows.

"Well, you know. Adrenaline."

"Ah," she said. "And that is sufficient inducement to break your cultural taboos?"

"His personality is more of a problem, really," except that he was lying, because Rodney was growing on him. Like a fungus.

* * *

And it was eighteen days out on the Daedalus. "Hey," John said.

"I'm not fucking you," Rodney said.

John looked around. "Well, not in the mess hall."

"Not anywhere. You! You're dead to me."

"Yeah, I was meaning to ask. Why?"

"You are extremely high maintenance," Rodney informed him, and then John started laughing and didn't stop for a long while, long after Rodney left in a huff, and then when he thought of it lying in bed later, he laughed himself to sleep.

* * *

"Seriously, high maintenance?" John asked. He was hanging out in a hotel room in Seattle. He'd always wanted to see Seattle.

"_Very_," Rodney sniffed. "Hey! Watch it, you little brat!" He was in Toronto, battling his sister's family. "Oh, that is the--" and there was a click, and that was that until they both came back to Area 51 to go home on the Daedalus.

Rodney ignored him noisily.

* * *

Then eighteen days back, and the whole business with the computer virus and the sun, and on the way back to the Daedalus, John asked, "See, I'm just asking: why the anger?"

"Because."

"Because?"

"I'm not talking to you," Rodney said, and then he hummed the Canadian national anthem and John retaliated with the Star-Spangled Banner until Hermiod broke into their headsets and told them to shut the hell up already in Asgard. That's what John guessed he was saying, anyway.

* * *

Even more amazingly, Rodney started dating. Even John hadn't managed to find time for that. There was all that... stuff. It's not like he ever had to _woo_ Rodney, they just kind of ended up horizontal and sticky. But girls, other guys, you needed candy and wine and smooth talking and all those things John just didn't have access to.

Though come to think of it, Rodney didn't have access to those things either. Definitely not smooth talking. No, sir.

John fell into step with Rodney. "So."

"Still not talking to you."

"You're doing it kind of loud," John said.

Rodney gave him a glare that would be withering if John were a more timid man. "You're not drawling me into bed with you."

"I'm still wondering what I did that offended you so much."

Rodney turned and punched him in the chest. Right in a bruise, a _different_ bruise this time. His aim was a little spooky.

"Ow," John said as Rodney stomped away.

* * *

And then there was the thing where Rodney kissed Carson and completely failed to successfully date his botanist friend and ended up sulking on a really high, out-of-the-way balcony, and John was just kind of there, hanging out. Casually.

"Son of a fucking fuck," Rodney said non-casually. John didn't point out how little sense that made.

"So," John said.

"I hate my life. But more than that, I hate you. You make me scared out of my mind. I'm not used to feeling like that for someone other than my cat! And don't think I'm not resentful that I couldn't bring him through the gate," Rodney said.

"He's got a hot blond to feed him salmon and rub his belly," John said, and they both looked down at the ocean simultaneously and sighed.

"Damn it," Rodney muttered.

"I haven't got any salmon, but I'll rub your belly. It'll make you feel better."

"Sure, for a minute, and then the next time you almost die I'll be a wreck again. Do you know how distracting that is?"

"Yeah."

They both looked up at the towers.

"Okay, I'm distracted anyway," Rodney said. John dropped to his knees and Rodney turned and grabbed the railing and John yanked open his trousers and sucked him down, quick and sloppy. "Oh, God. Never listen to me about sex. I'm obviously not in my right mind."

"Mmph," John mumbled, and Rodney grabbed his hair.

"Uff," Rodney said.

"Mmm," John hummed.

"Can I come in your--oh. God. Okay, okay, okay, just..." Rodney's knees buckled and he flopped down beside John. "Would you stop almost dying all the time?"

"You want me to actually die just to shake things up a little?"

Rodney sighed heavily and leaned over, unzipping John's fly. "Very high maintenance," he said to John's cock.

"Am... not," John said as Rodney bobbed his head downwards.

Rodney licked up and said, "Are too."

"Am not," John said.

"Mmf mff," Rodney said, and John banged his head against the railing.

THE END.

 

All comments are welcome.


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